Saturday, 25 April 2015

Reason to survive- Raison De Etre

Eleutheromania is an obsession with freedom. There! I gave it away.

  I did that so I could explain how I feel. Do you know that feeling when you want something so desperately every thought you have surrounds it, you suddenly become an insomniac, every move you make is directed towards it, it becomes your sole reason of survival?

  Well, getting out of this city, tattoos, dip dyed pink hair, Coachella- that is all I can think about. It is everything I want with every fiber of my being. It drives me crazy to want something with such a lust that I am blind to all other actions and consequences. All my prudence is focused towards this and for this, I have become the sum of my id. My conscience is blunted and I defy all logic.

  I finally felt true obsession, true motivation and a reason to live. It's nice, strange, maddening and peaceful. As I always did, I laugh perhaps even harder now at the teenagers who look for 'love' at this tender age. The rush of having something you want a hair's breadth away but just out of reach pales the Shakespearean notion of passion in comparison. My heart is soaring, my words are free and my mind is wandering, venturing into every possibility, every ambition, drowning me in memories of things I have never even seen. I'm driven and I'm driven mad but if this is madness then put me in a straitjacket and you will never even hear me complain. I am free in my mind but my body wants everything to be tangible. The wanderlust is overwhelming and the cage around my heart is cracking slowly, freeing me from myself.

No comments:

Post a Comment